quarta-feira, 31 de maio de 2006
sexta-feira, 26 de maio de 2006
O que me assusta nos homens mais velhos (…) são os beijos. As bocas mais velhas não beijam da mesma forma que as novas, e não é pela falta de dentadura – é que a elasticidade perde-se.
Os beijos são meio caminho andado. Neste caso, comido. Uma mão cheia de bons beijos é como uma mão-cheia no sítio certo… Uns beijos bem dados acumulam mais humidade do que um passeio na serra de Sintra.
A primeira vez que troquei uns beijos foi no liceu. (…) O rapaz em questão tinha uns lábios muito finos, de onde normalmente só saem pequenos jactos de saliva. É aborrecido quando isto acontece, e não temos à mão aqueles sugadores que os dentistas utilizam (…)
Neste longo caminho do boca a boca que a idade nos proporciona tive de tudo: hálitos que me afastaram do alvo, dentição inapropriada para consumo, lábios finos que não escolhem caras e, claro, as tais bocas frouxas que a idade castiga.
Desde cedo ouvi que os homens enaltecem as qualidades da boca carnuda das mulheres. Mas não era pelos beijos, meus amigos. A tal boca carnuda era apelidada (já nos tempos do liceu) de «boca brochista». Mais de metade dos homens que conheci não gostam de beijar, por isso a boca é analisada pelo seu diâmetro e capacidade de sucção. Beijos para quê? Isso é coisa de mulheres… Eu, para os homens que não têm «boca de brochista», aconselho um bocadinho de silicone. Talvez eles não saibam, mas uma boca fina e frouxa é como uma pila pequena e murcha. As mulheres derretem-se com um homem que não se canse de as beijar. Uma boa sessão de beijos, e elas estão dispostas a tudo. Depois a saliva desce até aos lugares apropriados e faz as delícias de qualquer um. Demorei algum tempo a descobrir o verdadeiro sentido da expressão «quem tem boca vai a Roma».
Para os homens que desprezam os beijos e investem nos comprimidinhos de longa duração, cuidado. Muitas mulheres têm boa boca, mas não papam tudo.O Sexo e a Cidália, NS', 22 de Abril de 2006
quinta-feira, 25 de maio de 2006
I used to be a male chauvinist. I hadn't been exposed to much female company, and initially it was annoying and a bit of a shock. Unlike men, who are solution-oriented, there seemed to be so much discussion about everything.
It was all to do with being on unfamiliar territory. I was raised in the most male-dominated environment you can imagine, so it was probably a self-preservation thing. I have a twin brother, Wade, an older brother, Chad and a very masculine dad. Even my mother was a tomboy. On top of that we were surrounded by nephews, male cousins and uncles. I would have been in trouble, not to mention very lonely, if I hadn't connected with the male psyche. Now my female friends, and the time I spend doing feminine things, are among the biggest joys in my life. I've learned that I need that kind of nurturing.
When you grow up thinking like a boy, you gain a privileged insight into the male thought process. I wouldn't call it a head start but there were some bonuses. I learned early on that the old criticism that men can only focus on one thing at a time can be a positive. I find that focus and single-mindedness really helpful sometimes. And I'm more able to deal with the side of me that wants to go out and ride a motorbike fast - which my boyfriend and I do a lot. That type of release that helps you manage anger and frustration is an anathema for a lot of women. Men have a lot of secrets as to how to channel that energy.
I draw the line at listening to cock rock, however. A lot of women go wild for that, but it looks like a cartoon to me. I listen to a 50/50 split between male and female artists, but the men I listen to tend to have androgynous appeal, like Rufus Wainright and Justin Faulkner.
Because I suppressed that side of myself early on, it all exploded in a torrent of femininity as a teenager, for which I apologise. Looking back it was quite hard, because there's no greater indicator that you can't just hang out with the boys for the rest of your life than when you grow breasts. I was angry about it, though I don't think I ever specifically blamed men.
Because I started working in show business at the age of 10, a lot of the negative interaction I've had with men has been about the way I looked, and them wanting to exercise this kind of tyranny over me. It's more than disappointing that this continues to be a source of men gaining power over women. I remember being called in to the record-company studio when I was 15 on the premise that I needed to 'redo my vocals' when actually my male producer wanted to talk to me about 'my weight problem'. It's not surprising I had eating disorders. Like a lot of women, I've wasted time stressing over male responses and whether or not my hair was an alluring length.
I see my relationship as a people-growing machine. There are phases of infatuation, phases that are full of conflict and you need to stick it out to get there in the long run. I've been with my boyfriend, Ryan Reynolds, for four years and we've had our ups and downs. We've postponed the marriage thing because there's still work to do but it's headed in the right direction.
I don't think men are as easily scared off as they're made out to be. When Jagged Little Pill came out, I became a poster girl for some kind of post-feminist feminism. There was a perception that I was combative and angry at men through 'You Oughta Know', but the guys I went out with at that time weren't scared off at all. They seemed to like the challenge.
I deal with men in a very different way now. I cut them more slack, and expect them to do the same. I have a different emotional vocabulary and a different way of responding - a lot of this learned from men. Apart from my boyfriend, the most well-adjusted man I know is my friend, Justin Hilton. I wouldn't be so reactive now to the break-up of a relationship as I was when I wrote 'You Oughta Know'. These days cooler heads prevail.
quarta-feira, 24 de maio de 2006
Mr. Millan's fame has grown to the point where he was recently parodied on an episode of "South Park," the Comedy Central staple.
Working with Americans and their dogs, he said, "I was surprised and a little confused by what I saw." Where he grew up, in Culiacan, Sinaloa, in Northwest Mexico, "everybody walks dogs," Mr. Millan said during a recent visit to New York. "But where I am from, the dog is always behind. Here the dog is always in front. I thought maybe you guys were doing it right and we were doing it wrong. Because to me America is the country where everybody is always doing it right. I thought you knew and we were wrong."
He quickly discovered: no. Americans were letting the dogs, rather than the humans, be the pack leaders, in almost every respect. "Americans work against Mother Nature, and that's why dogs don't listen to the general population of America," he said. "Why are dogs growing up on a farm much happier than a dog living in the city? Because on a farm, it gets to be a dog. And in the city they become a child, they become a husband, they become a soul mate. They become something the human wants before they are willing to do what is best for them."
That, in turn, translates to dogs behaving badly. At Mr. Millan's Dog Psychology Center in Los Angeles, he works with dozens of dogs at a time. He first drew attention for his walks through Los Angeles with his packs — he on in-line skates, the dogs on leashes — or his runs along the beach or through the Santa Monica Mountains with them. Always, Mr. Millan is at the head of the pack.
"It's like cowboys," he said. "They grow up around the horse and the cow; they are not afraid of them. You can be a huge dog lover, you can have a passion for it, but that doesn't mean you can develop the strong assertive state of mind that is required to be around hard-core cases. These cases I work with, they are coming after me. But I don't develop fear. Like the people who work around cobras — they don't have fear in their mind. What makes you become a pack leader is being in a calm, assertive state 100 percent of the time."
"It's a ripple effect," he said. "I believe in the golden rule — do good things and good things will happen to you. I know I help dogs all the time. And because you help Mother Nature, Mother Nature is going to help you back. There's no other way around. It's the law of the universe."
terça-feira, 23 de maio de 2006
terça-feira, 16 de maio de 2006
There's a story I've been touting round the national papers recently which has been touched upon by a few columnists and raised some interest from women's magazines, but that has not been given the mainstream coverage it deserves.
The story is this: in Zimbabwe there has been a massive dip in the amount of sanitary products - tampons and towels - available to women due to the relocation of the manufacturers of these products from Zimbabwe to South Africa because of the current economic crisis. Those that are available are hugely expensive - a single box of tampons (most women use three boxes a month) costing nearly a third of the average wage for a woman in Zimbabwe (and practically 100 per cent of the wage of farm workers, domestic workers and women in the informal economy).
Consequently women are being forced to find alternate means of containing their menstrual blood. In many cases this means using old newspaper or cloth, leading in many cases to infection. Infections are obviously a big problem alone. But they also lead to other problems such as violence against women where lack of understanding means that infections are blamed on sexual promiscuity. Such infections also create the optimal biological environment for the spread of disease, particularly HIV/Aids. And of course there's a lack of dignity and the effect on education and work - in some cases girls are having to take a week each month off school and women are having to miss a week of work each month.
Of course many developing countries don't have access to modern sanitary methods. In Zimbabwe's case however there was for many years pretty much full access to tampons and towels. Consequently the knowledge of more traditional methods has been lost. Occasionally women in today's Zimbabwe will hear a story of how a certain type of tree bark was once used, but with just tiny fragments of information about the preparation of these methods it is being used the wrong way and also leading to infection.
This shortage of sanitary products is at the centre of a major campaign by Actsa (Action for Southern Africa). Their Dignity.Period! campaign is drawing attention to this issue and raising money to import sanitary products to Zimbabwe. The Zimbabwean government however has a nasty habit, one of many, of blocking products, even those donated free, and charging import taxes that go up hourly, costing organisations like Actsa many thousands of pounds.
The only way this will stop and the women of Zimbabwe will be given their health, and their dignity, back, is if this issue is highly publicized. But who will discuss periods? Certainly many of the editors I approached thought the subject too icky for their readers, by which I suspect they mean their male readers as women's magazines are awash with articles about periods.
Yes periods are icky, and by their very nature rather messy. But there's far more to being able to talk about it than a bit of blue liquid on an absorbent pad in a television advert or a woman in white trousers rollerskating down a promenade.
If it were the other way round - if say penises were falling off, would the world take note? Absolutely. But it's periods and seen as a women's issue and, as one editor put it to me, it seems that periods truly are the final frontier.
JUNTA OS TEUS :)